A Shot of J&B by Lou Sylvre

Author:Lou Sylvre [Sylvre, Lou]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Published: 2015-02-25T00:00:00+00:00

BRIAN HAD never felt the gloom of London fog as deeply as he felt it on the day he arrived home from his time with Jackie. On the cab ride from Heathrow, his thoughts remained fixed inward, and once he’d picked up Marley and settled into his apartment, he realized he couldn’t be sure if the fog was part of the weather, or only in his brain. Or heart. Or soul.

Desolate—that’s the best word he could find to describe his status. He relived their last night and morning over and over for a solid week, emotions and recriminations new every time, full of I should have… and but he…. Enough to make him crazy. Through the following week, he’d done his best to lock Jackie and everything to do with him away from conscious thought. He hadn’t succeeded, though, and when the doubts and recriminations slipped through, they’d become twice as sorrowful and less than half as hopeful. Some small bit of his luck held, though, because just as his psyche seemed stretched to its limit, Tommy called.

“Hey,” he said, his British accent mild and his voice resonant as always. “How was the US of A?”

Brian hesitated only a second, then ran it all down for his mentor, hoping or maybe needing some wisdom from the man. Even though fears had overcome him, he couldn’t help his enthusiasm as he recounted their first days together. He left out private details but said enough to let Tommy know that their intimate encounters had been everything Brian had hoped.

“And Tommy,” he said quietly, earnestly, “at the demo, he was so beautiful, slipping under a bit just from watching, and trusting me completely. But then… maybe I made a mistake.”

“How’s that?”

Brian took a few breaths, trying to piece his thoughts together. “Hell, Tommy, I don’t know. It felt so right then, you know?”

“Well, no, Brian. I don’t know because you haven’t told me what it was that felt right but might have been wrong.” It was a scold, but Tommy’s voice was warm as always, his patience with having to point out the obvious to his younger friend evident.

Brian chuckled, scratched a nonexistent itch across his pecs, and said, “I told him I cared. I told him I wanted him in my life—more than a sub.”

“And….” Tommy paused, apparently for thought, because he changed verbal direction. “Brian, have you fallen in love with him?”

Something in Brian wanted to rebel at the words, though they were indeed the very ones he’d pointedly not said to Jackie, the ones he’d denied himself, though they’d so wanted utterance. He’d thought at the time they were words Jackie waited to hear, but now, considering the events of the following day, Brian thought maybe that had been his own wishful thinking. An unwanted, unexpected burn came over his eyes, and he pressed his hand hard against closed lids, denying even the possibility of tears.

“Brian,” Tommy prompted.

“I… I don’t know. Yes. Maybe. I think… yes. Should I have told him?”

Tommy chuckled.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.